“The yellowed diary’s notes whisper in vernacular.”

The poet begins by describing a yellowed diary, suggesting age and antiquity. The notes in the diary are said to “whisper in vernacular,” implying that they speak in a familiar, local language, creating an intimate and personal atmosphere.

“They sound the forgotten posture,”

The notes in the diary evoke a posture, a physical or emotional stance that has been overlooked or neglected over time. The use of “forgotten” implies a sense of neglect or disregard.

“the cramped cry that forces me to hear that voice.”

The cramped cry refers to a restrained or stifled expression of pain or emotion. The poet feels compelled to listen to this voice, suggesting that the contents of the diary contain emotions that demand attention.

“Now I stumble back in your black-paged wake.”

The poet metaphorically stumbles back in time as he reads the black pages of the diary. The black-paged wake suggests a mourning or remembrance, emphasizing the impact of the past on the present.

“No uneasy stir of cloud”

The poet describes a serene atmosphere, emphasizing the absence of any disturbance or uneasiness. The reference to clouds suggests a calm and undisturbed sky.

“darkened the white skies of your day; the silence”

The poet contrasts the peaceful sky of the grandfather’s time with the present. The mention of silence indicates a quiet, undisturbed past.

“of dust grazed in the long afternoon sun, ruling”

Dust, possibly a metaphor for time or memories, is described as grazing in the sun, suggesting a slow and gradual erosion or passage. The ruling of dust implies its dominance over the landscape.

“the cracked fallow earth, ate into the laughter of your flesh.”

The cracked fallow earth symbolizes barren and unproductive land. The dust, representing time, erodes even the laughter of the grandfather, suggesting the impact of time on joy and vitality.

“For you it was the hardest question of all.”

The poem shifts to addressing the grandfather directly, suggesting that he faced an extremely challenging question or decision.

“Dead, empty trees stood by the dragging river,”

The imagery of dead, empty trees by a dragging river paints a desolate scene, emphasizing the harshness of the grandfather’s environment.

“past your weakened body, flailing against your sleep.”

The grandfather’s body is depicted as weakened, and he is portrayed as struggling against sleep, possibly indicating a restless and troubled state.

“You thought of the way the jackals moved, to move.”

The grandfather contemplates the movement of jackals, possibly symbolizing survival instincts and adaptability in the face of challenges.

“Did you hear the young tamarind leaves rustle”

The poet questions whether the grandfather was attuned to the subtle sounds of nature, like the rustling of young tamarind leaves.

“in the cold mean nights of your belly? Did you see”

The reference to cold mean nights suggests harsh and challenging circumstances. The poet wonders if the grandfather perceived these difficulties in his innermost being.

“your own death? Watch it tear at your cries,”

The poet questions whether the grandfather anticipated or witnessed his own death, visualizing it as a force tearing at his cries, possibly symbolizing pain or suffering.

“break them into fits of unnatural laughter?”

The cries are described as breaking into fits of unnatural laughter, suggesting a tumultuous emotional experience in the face of death.

“How old were you? Hunted, you turned coward and ran,”

The poem explores the grandfather’s response to being hunted, portraying him as turning coward and fleeing from the challenges he faced.

“the real animal in you plunging through your bone.”

The reference to the real animal suggests primal instincts. The image of plunging through the bone conveys a visceral and intense response.

“You left your family behind, the buried things,”

The grandfather abandoned his family and the buried things, possibly referring to unresolved issues or memories.

“the precious clod that praised the quality of a god.”

The clod, possibly a piece of earth or a symbol of the grandfather’s heritage, praised the quality of a god, emphasizing a connection to spirituality or tradition.

“The imperishable that swung your broken body,”

The imperishable, something enduring, is described as swinging the grandfather’s broken body, suggesting a force that transcends physical decay.

“turned it inside out? What did faith matter?”

The poet questions whether this force turned the grandfather’s body inside out, prompting a reflection on the significance of faith in the face of such transformations.

“What Hindu world so ancient and true for you to hold?”

The poet questions the relevance of the ancient and true Hindu world that the grandfather held onto, highlighting the complexity of religious identity.

“Uneasily you dreamed toward the center of your web.”

The grandfather is described as dreaming uneasily, possibly alluding to inner turmoil, and the center of the web suggests a focal point of contemplation.

“The separate life let you survive, while perhaps”

The idea of a separate life allowed the grandfather to survive, though there is a suggestion of uncertainty or speculation regarding the fate of those left behind.

“the one you left wept in the blur of your heart.”

There is a poignant image of someone left behind weeping, emphasizing the emotional impact on those separated from the grandfather.

“Now in a night of sleep and taunting rain”

The setting shifts to the present, where the poet and his son engage in conversation during a night of sleep and taunting rain.

“My son and I speak of that famine nameless as snow.”

The poet and his son discuss a famine, emphasizing its significance and the impact that it had on subsequent generations.

“A conscience of years is between us. He is young.”

The poet reflects on the passage of time, with a conscience of years separating him from his son, who is described as young.

“The whirls of glory are breaking down for him before me.”

The poet observes the fading of whirls of glory, suggesting a diminishing of ideals and aspirations for his son.

“Does he think of the past as a loss we have lived, our own?”

The poet questions whether his son perceives the past as a collective loss experienced by their family.

“Out of silence we look back now at what we do not know.”

The poem concludes with a contemplation of the unknown, emphasizing the mystery and gaps in their understanding of the grandfather’s experiences.

“There is a dawn waiting beside us, whose signs”

The mention of a waiting dawn suggests the anticipation of a new beginning, and the signs are distant, reinforcing the idea of a future that is yet to unfold.

“are a hundred odd years away from you, Grandfather.”

The dawn and its signs are positioned a hundred odd years away from the grandfather, underscoring the temporal gap between generations.

“You are an invisible piece on a board”

The grandfather is likened to an invisible chess piece on a board, symbolizing his role in shaping the movements and outcomes of subsequent generations.

“Whose move has made our children grow, to know us,”

The actions or decisions of the grandfather are credited with influencing the growth and understanding of their children, emphasizing the intergenerational impact.

“carrying us deep where our voices lapse into silence.”

The influence of the grandfather carries them to a profound place where their voices eventually become silent, possibly alluding to the inexorable march of time and mortality.

“We wish we knew you more.”

The poet expresses a yearning to know the grandfather more intimately, highlighting the limitations of their understanding.

“We wish we knew what it was to be, against dying,”

There is a desire to comprehend the experience of confronting mortality and facing the challenges associated with dying.

“to know the dignity”

The poet wishes to understand the concept of dignity, suggesting that this is a crucial aspect of the grandfather’s experiences.

“that had to be earned dangerously,”

Dignity is portrayed as something that had to be earned through perilous means, emphasizing the challenges and risks associated with achieving it.

“your last chance that was blindly terrifying, so unfair.”

The notion of a last chance is introduced, depicted as blindly terrifying and inherently unfair, adding a layer of complexity to the grandfather’s choices.

“We wish we had not to wake up with our smiles”

The poem concludes with a poignant reflection, expressing a wish that they did not have to wake up with smiles, possibly alluding to the bittersweet nature of existence and memory.

“in the middle of some social order.”

The smiles are contrasted with the social order, suggesting a tension between personal emotions and societal expectations.