This love older than I by myriad
Saddened centuries was once a prayer
In his bones that made them grow in years of
Adolescence to this favored height; yes,
It was my desire that made him male
And beautiful, so that when at last we
Met, to believe that once I knew not his
Form, his quiet touch, or the blind kindness
Of his lips was hard indeed. Betray me?
Yes, he can, but never physically
Only with words that curl their limbs at
Touch of air and die with metallic sighs.
Why care I for their quick sterile sting, while
My body’s wisdom tells and tells again
That I shall find my rest, my sleep, my peace
And even death nowhere else but here in
My betrayer’s arms…
The poem “Relationship” by Kamala Das delves into the complexities of love, desire, and the consequences of unfulfilled expectations in a relationship.
The speaker begins by expressing that the love she experiences is ancient, spanning countless centuries. This love, once a prayer embedded in her lover’s bones during adolescence, has grown into a mature and favored connection. The speaker attributes the transformation of her lover into a man to her own desires. When they finally meet, it becomes difficult to believe that there was a time when she did not know his form, touch, or the kindness of his lips.
Despite the intensity of their connection, the speaker acknowledges that her lover has the potential to betray her, not physically but through words that are fragile and prone to wither away. She dismisses the significance of verbal betrayals, stating that her body’s wisdom assures her that she will find rest, sleep, peace, and even death only in the arms of her betrayer.
The poem is characterized by a blend of passion, introspection, and a recognition of the transient nature of human relationships. The speaker’s willingness to find solace, even in the arms of one who may betray her verbally, speaks to the deep emotional and physical connection she craves.
The poem explores themes of love, desire, and the acceptance of both the beauty and fragility inherent in human relationships. Kamala Das weaves together elements of mysticism, sensuality, and introspection to create a nuanced portrayal of the speaker’s experience with love and the complex interplay of emotions within a relationship.
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